Monday 31st March

Brangelina NOT Hitched

Reports that Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt tied the knot in New Orleans Saturday are "complete and total bullshit," says a source. "Bottom line, they aren't even in New Orleans," the source told US Weekly.

Reps for Jolie and Pitt did not comment on Star magazine’s initial reports that they wed at an unannounced ceremony in the French Quarter.

Heath’s family claim he had a love child?

Heath Ledger may have had a secret love child! Heath’s uncle claims he had an affair with a woman of 25 when he was just 17 years old while living in his home city of Perth. The woman was said to have found out she was pregnant with a girl after they split – meaning the child may have a claim on his estate. His uncle Hayden, talking to the Sydney Telegraph, said; "There is a very real possibility that Heath was the father."

In other news…

• Jamie Hince has been named 15th worst-dressed person in Britain according to a GQ recent poll. Russell Brand topped the list with Daniel Craig winning the best dressed top spot.


• Orlando Bloom and Harrison Ford were both gunged with green slime at the Nickelodeon Kids’ Choice Awards by host Jack Black who was later gunged himself. Other highlights from the event included Ashton Kutcher falling off the stage as he gave Cameron Diaz the Wannabe Award.


• ‘I’ll Do Anything’ reject Lucy Duffield is still headed to stardom thanks to Mark Ronson. He’s signed the ex-Nancy wannabe as a new member of his unnamed girl group and she’s already jetted off to New York to lay some tracks down with Mark.


• Serial bride Patsy Kensit has split up with fiancée DJ Jeremy Healy. It’s been said that Healy, who would have been Kensit’s fourth husband, didn’t think he could go through with the commitment.

You Tube Clip
Paris, leave it:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z9Akpi2dIqE

POTTY PETE DOHERTY has become obsessed with Scientology after a lover introduced him to the crazy cult, The Sun can reveal.
The junkie rocker is hooked on the barmy religion which believes humans are an exiled race from outer space.
Babyshambles frontman Pete, 29 — who once dated supermodel KATE MOSS — has bought a pile of books on the subject since meeting Scientologist DJ NADINE RUDDY.
And he has been leaving his Wiltshire mansion to stay at her home in Reading, Berks, at least once a week.
A source said: “Nadine is really into Scientology. She takes her beliefs very seriously.
“Pete’s chatted a lot with her about it. He went out and bought some books to read up about it.
“He just wanted to find out more about Nadine and what she believes in.”
The Church of Scientology was invented by sci-fi writer L Ron Hubbard in 1951 and boasts stars TOM CRUISE and JOHN TRAVOLTA among its followers.
It teaches that women should remain silent during childbirth because the noise evokes bad memories as the child grows up.
Mums are also not allowed to take any painkillers during labour and the baby is not washed for 24 days.
Nadine tells on her MySpace profile how she has adopted the religion.
She also reveals she likes tattoos and claims her favourite book is the dictionary.

Pals' shock at pregnant man

PALS of “pregnant man” Thomas Beatie last night told of their shock.

Beatie, 34, who yesterday released a pic of his five-months-pregnant belly, has gone into hiding. It is rumoured he and wife Nancy have sold their story to TV chat host Oprah Winfrey.

A British-born neighbour who is looking after their home in Bend, Oregon, while they are away said: “They’ve struck a big deal with someone. When they come back all will be revealed. This is 1,000 per cent true.” Relative Rena Keeley added: “I believe it’s true. We’ve been told not to say anything.” Thomas revealed his wife’s family are in for a shock because they have no idea he was born female.

Before undergoing his sex change, Thomas was a lesbian called Tracy LaGondino. The transsexual kept his female organs after the sex change.


In other news…

* LEONA LEWIS has been crowned Queen of America. Her debut US single, Bleeding Love, hit the top of the American charts yesterday. It is the first time in 21 years a British female solo artist has had a No1 single in the States. The last was KIM WILDE with You Keep Me Hanging On. Only two other UK female acts have topped America’s Billboard Hot 100 chart with their debut release — PETULA CLARK with Downtown in 1965 and SHEENA EASTON with Morning Train (Nine To Five) in 1981.
* KATE MOSS has set the date for her wedding to rocker JAMIE HINCE. Kate has told her family she is planning the bash for early in September.
* Pussycat dolls show in Malaysia has been slapped with a fine for being “too sexually suggestive.” It proved too much for officials in strict Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia's capital city when Pussycat Dolls promoters Absolute Entertainment were fined 10,000 Ringgits (£1,436) for allowing the act to perform "sexually suggestive" routines.
* PARIS HILTON has a tough life doesn't she? The socialite recently spoke out against critics who claim she does nothing for a living. Her retaliation was flying out to Turkey to be on the jury for their national beauty pageant - helping to choose the stunner who will represent their country in the Miss World contest. Working life is tough.

CLIPS

Cruelty to animals...?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nsYKZX-Fims

Thursday 27th March

Flop Star Peaches


Peaches Geldof sang and played bass with supertrendy group Rodnik at at The Hospital on Tuesday night and went down like a sack of spuds by all accounts. During the three-song set, Peaches attempted - unsuccessfully - to smash a keyboard at the set's conclusion in a choreographed display of stage anarchy. But she almost failed to make it on stage at all after throwing a diva tantrum moments before she was due to perform.

It took organisers more than an hour to persuade to her to sing after she took fright at the sight of photographers and the size of the audience. Once on stage, Peaches dropped the microphone and forgot some lyrics before she headed for the exit door. Even her ex Fred Les couldn't bear the noise and walked out, and was overheard saying, 'it's one of the worst performances I've ever seen' and other guests were heard shouting 'we love The Cure! What is this?'.


Danielle Lloyd Throws A Goody

Serial Wag Danielle Lloyd was chucked out of Mayfair club Funky Buddha on Tuesday after going head-to-head with a fellow reveller. Lloyd was evicted from the club with her new boyfriend, businessman William Foster, after getting involved in a catfight with a rival girl over her ex-lover, Portsmouth footballer Jermain Defoe - who was also there. Lloyd confronted the girl, who she said had been sleeping with Defoe while he and Dani were still together, before throwing a drink over her. She's now been barred from Funky Buddha. Isn't she a delight?





In Other News...

• 
  Kerry Katona was last night told she does not have pre-eclampsia, and that shooting pains in her legs came from her body storing too much water and lacking vital iron. Kerry is expected to leave hospital today.
• A Spears Shotgun wedding might be on the cards...but not for Britney. Pregnant 16-year-old Jamie Lynn Spears and boyfriend Casey Aldridge are engaged, says his cousin, Tina Robinson; 'they probably weren’t expecting [the proposal] to be, like, right now, but with her being pregnant, that really pushed it up', said Tina.
• The US season premiere of The Hills was the highest rated telecast for cable this year and the highest rated episode ever of The Hills, averaging over 4.7 million viewers.
• 
  Leona Lewis is considering throat surgery to stop the severe bouts of tonsillitis that are threatening her bid for world domination. It's not terribly exciting news in all honesty, but it's kind of a slow day in celebrity land.
  

You Tube Clip

Tyra Banks REALLY loves Vaseline

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jOR4qekHWlA

Kate Moss: I'm getting married

SMITTEN KATE MOSS enjoyed a romantic break in Amsterdam — then blurted out: “I’m getting married.”
The grinning supermodel emerged from a bar to tell Dutch fans of her plans to wed THE KILLS guitarist JAMIE HINCE.
One onlooker in the cannabis mecca said: “The pair were in a bar looking very loved-up. Kate was so excited it looked like she had just accepted his proposal there and then. She was very happy.
“She came out giggling and seemed a little bit tipsy. Lots of fans were taking her picture on their mobile phones. She told them, ‘I’m getting married.’ One girl asked her when, and she said, ‘Soon’.”

Pals say Kate, 34, has been all over 39-year-old rocker Jamie during their Amsterdam stay.
His band played a show there on Saturday and then the couple had time to enjoy the city’s famous sights before moving on to Brussels on Monday.
They have been dating since last summer — a few months after Kate finally split for good from junkie singer PETE DOHERTY, 29.
A friend of the Croydon-born model revealed: “We’re all so happy for Kate. Everyone was worried she would end up with Pete, who we thought was no good for her.
“We were convinced that, for some unknown reason, she saw him as the love of her life.
“Jamie looked like it could have been a bit of a rebound thing at first, but now it seems like it’s the real deal.”


Wayne's EuRoo millions wedding

Wayne and his fiancée COLEEN McLOUGHLIN have plumped for a four-day wedding extravaganza in the South of France costing an incredible £3MILLION.
Just 60 family and friends will watch them take their vows on the Côte D’Azur — with private jets ferrying the wedding party across the Channel on June 10.
Coleen chose the venue after months of agonising between Italy and France.
But the actual site remains top secret — the only people who know are the bride and groom, immediate family, oh, and a Manchester-based events company.
Guests, who include boxer RICKY HATTON and a handful of Man United players and their partners, have been told to clear their diaries from June 10 to June 14.
It is believed the wedding itself will take place on June 12 — but guests won’t know until the last minute.
The pre-wedding celebrations will kick off earlier in the weekend with a themed ball, with guests invited to wear black or white outfits.
And over the next three days Wayne and Coleen will also treat their family and friends to a champagne lunch and play hosts at a BBQ.
Last night a source close to the couple said: “Coleen wanted to spread the event over a few days because people are travelling so far.
”You can virtually guarantee the weather at that time of the year so they’ve gone for lots of outdoor celebrations. Coleen and Wayne take regular holidays in the area, so they’re very familiar with the place.”
Coleen will wear a £100,000 gown by New York fashion house Marchesa.
The wedding costs will partly be covered by Wayne and Coleen’s £2.5million deal with a glossy mag for exclusive coverage of the nuptials — though a chunk of that cash is being given to a Liverpool charity.


In other news…

* Veteran rocker Rod Stewart has launched his own fashion range creating a new line for men, women, and even children with a special Rod baby suit.
* Bookies cleaned up yesterday after Rio Ferdinand was named England captain. The Manchester United centre-back was the 10-1 outsider but Fabio Capello has confirmed that it is Rio who will wear the captain’s armband against France tonight, and lead Beckham to his 100th cap.
* Sugarbabes are the next act on the hit list of super-producer Timbaland who is set to collaborate with them on their forthcoming album.
* A new breed of teen tycoons are cashing in on the internet and earning up to £60,000 a year. One-in-five so called “teen entrepreneurs” have set up their online businesses from their bedrooms. The study – for Virgin Media’s superfast broadband – found 15% of teens earn more than £23 an hour from their entrepreneurial skills.

CLIPS

Bid to get over-night fame...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LoD2iKnoNe8&feature=bz302

Reformed Britney 'saves the world'

She's been to hell and back - but now Britney Spears actually seems to be doing something useful for a change.
The troubled star is auctioning off six costumes she wore on her US TV comedy appearance, to save penguins and other endangered animals.
She made her comeback last night as she appeared on American sitcom How I Met Your Mother.
Britney played receptionist, Abby, who became obsessed with the main character Ted. The performance was praised for being funny - for all the right reasons.
She's now auctioning off the wardrobe from her cameo, with all the items she wore going under the hammer for charity at auction site seenon.com.
Already some of the dresses have reached bids of almost $1,000.
They will be sold online with the proceeds going to environmental group, the Natural Resources Defence Council.
The items up for sale include a Nanette Lepore embroidered rust coloured Dress, navy print Juicy Couture dress, a cream Nannette Lepore cardigan with blue beaded flowers and a yellow Nannette Lepore dress.


Chanelle is taking the mic

WATCH out Kylie, there’s a new pop princess following in your spark-ling footsteps.
And Chanelle Hayes is hoping that some of Ms Minogue’s magic will rub off on her.When the Big Brother 8 babe takes to the stage this week to perform her new single I Want It, she’ll be warbling into a sexy Swarovski crystal-encrusted microphone that belongs to the pint-sized Aussie star.Chanelle says: “It’s really exciting launching my pop career. Who can compare themselves to Kylie? She’s amazing! But I’d love to be as successful as her.”The Wakefield babe’s bid for pop stardom will hit the small screen next month in VH1’s fly-on-the-wall show Chanelle: Wannabe Popstar.“The song actually sounds a bit like recent Britney,” she says. “To be able to go on iTunes and download my own song is a massive achievement for me. But I’m taking it slowly.”

“I’ve been putting everything into my music,” she says. “I’ve been working 15-hour days and then going home and playing with my gorgeous Pomeranian pup Crumpet.”

In other news…
* People named Brian or Lisa are seen to be most likely to be failures, according to a new study, and those called George or Ann the least attractive. But the most successful-sounding monikers are James and Elizabeth. The study, which asked almost 7000 people how they felt about names, found Sophie and Ryan the most attractive, Jack and Lucy the luckiest, and Helen and John the unluckiest.
* Sharon Osbourne was yesterday named the ultimate plastic surgery success. After £120,000 of stomach stapling, bum and facelifts, liposuction and a boob job, she has been voted the Queen of Nip/Tuck in a poll of 3,000 women for FX channel.
* A new internet craze where young girls give their virtual characters boob jobs has outraged parent groups. The Miss Bimbo game sees children as young as nine look after naked female figures. They compete against each other in beauty contests to earn bimbo dollars so they can dress their character and take her clubbing. The game, launched last month, already has almost 200,000 players, most of whom are girls between nine and sixteen.
* Johny Vegas is being lined up to star in the next series of Strictly Come Dancing. “Johny is top of the wanted list” said a senior BBC source. “Our only concern is that he gets a little breathless at times” said a pal from the comics local boozer in Merseyside.

CLIPS

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lj3iNxZ8Dww

The Bill wins soap award battle

The Bill has come out top in the battle of the soaps at the Royal Television Society Awards. The ITV1 show beat off competition from Coronation Street and Holby City in the soap and continuing drama category.
BBC Three's The Mighty Boosh won best sitcom, with BBC Two quiz show QI, presented by Stephen Fry, winning the entertainment award.
Speaking after the awards, Noel Fielding, who plays Vince Noir in The Mighty Boosh, told BBC News: "It's taken about 10 years for people to get their heads around it, which we knew would happen, so it's a slow build. Its like building a watch, an elaborate sort of intricate watch, but we've done it now and they can tell the time."

Other comedy winners were duo David Mitchell and Robert Webb, who picked up the comedy performance award for Channel 4's Peep Show. Harry Hill picked up best entertainment performance for TV Burp, in which he pokes fun at the week's most bizarre TV clips. The judges described Hill as someone who had moved his ITV1 show "from the edge to the heart of the schedule".

BBC Two car show Top Gear won the features and lifestyle series award, with presenters James May and Richard Hammond picking up the award without frontman Jeremy Clarkson. "Actually Hammond and I were only here because we were told to be," said May.

Wildlife presenter Sir David Attenborough, meanwhile, picked up the lifetime achievement award.
Accepting his award in a pre-recorded video clip, Sir David said: "When I joined the BBC 56 years ago, there was only one professional television organisation in this country, I imagine in the world, and that of course was this one.


Can’t Hurry Love

It takes 22 dates, 3 one-night stands, and 3 relationships to find your perfect partner.

Couple revealed how long it had taken to find The One for entertainment website BT PodShow. Some were more choosey, needing a whopping 50 dates with potential partners. And 9% reckon it takes at least 10 one-night stands.

A lucky five Brits only need to go on 5 dates before they find their perfect partner.

Talking regularly and an active sex life were what people were looking for. Poor personal hygiene, no sense of humour and being rubbish in bed are the biggest turn-offs, the poll found.

The good news for those still searching are that this weekend is the best chance of the year to banish those single days. Tomorrow is the first day of Spring, there’s a full moon, and the Easter break will combine for a sexy opportunity for the country’s 3.2 million.

In other news…

* Supergrass were caught by the police yesterday as cops pulled the plug on a London busking session. It was a safety issue according to the police, who moved the boys on to more spacious surroundings on the Southbank, as hundreds of people had stopped to watch the busking session in aid of homeless charity Shelter.
* Ex-Hollyoaks and full-time reality TV star Gemma Atkinson is jetting to LA later this year for a series of auditions to launch her as the next Pamela Anderson. As well as acting auditions Gemma has been writing songs as she is due to record her upcoming album in Nashville while she’s out in the States.
* Just six weeks after Amy Winehouse moved in to the quiet residential street in Camden, her neighbours are selling up, and can’t wait to get shot of the property. The neighbours are fed up with constant noise, loud music, paparazzi, parties, and people coming and going into the small hours.
* 1 in 3 kids think wartime leader Winston Churchill was the first man on the moon, a survey has revealed, with 4 in 10 thinking that Mars was only a chocolate bar, and a third thought that the Earth was not an official planet. The poll of 1,400 four to ten year olds was done by kids TV channel Jetix.

Cranford leads Bafta nominations

Costume drama Cranford has received four Bafta TV nominations, including a best actress nod for Dame Judi Dench. The Oscar-winner will go up against her Cranford co-star Dame Eileen Atkins, while the BBC show is also up for best drama serial and the audience award.
Strictly Come Dancing, The Apprentice and Britain's Got Talent are among the other series up for the audience award, with the winner chosen by the public. Coronation Street has been left out of the continuing drama series category. EastEnders and Emmerdale are joined by Holby City and The Bill on that shortlist.
In the hotly-contested entertainment programme shortlist, Strictly Come Dancing and Britain's Got Talent do battle alongside Harry Hill's TV Burp and Have I Got New For You. BBC One's popular celebrity ballroom dancing series collected a total of three nominations. Stephen Merchant is nominated for his role in the Extras Christmas Special, while co-star Ricky Gervais is absent. Gavin and Stacey, which triumphed at the British Comedy Awards, is up for two prizes. Have I Got News For You star Paul Merton collects his 11th nomination with a mention in the best factual series category for his travels to China. The best comedy programme contenders, including Russell Brand's Ponderland and The Armstrong and Miller Show, are all first-time nominees this year.
This year's contenders for best actor are all first-time nominees, including Andrew Garfield for his performance for Boy A, which is also in the running for best single drama.
In the features category, TV chefs Gordon Ramsay and Heston Blumenthal will go head-to-head alongside BBC Two's Top Gear.
For the first time since the classic McEnroe-Borg showdown in 1980, coverage of the Wimbledon men's final is nominated for the sport award.
The Bafta TV awards ceremony will take place at the London Palladium on 20 April.

Express newspapers apologise to parents of Madeleine McCann

The Daily Express and the Daily Star issued front-page apologies to the parents of Madeleine McCann this morning, having agreed to pay "substantial" damages for almost a year of lurid headlines relating to the four-year-old's disappearance.
The papers' Sunday sister titles will follow suit, in what was described last night as an "unprecedented" climb-down by the Express newspaper group owned by Richard Desmond.
Lawyers are set to appear at the High Court today to read out apologies from the papers, whose payout will go towards the Find Madeleine Fund in what is the culmination of a behind-the-scenes libel challenge from Mr and Mrs McCann.
Today's apologies – both headlined simply "Kate and Gerry McCann: Sorry" – follow a decision by the newspaper group to remove all references to girl's disappearance from its websites after the McCanns challenged what their spokesman, Clarence Mitchell, described as "wildly and grossly defamatory articles".
The couple has identified more than 100 such articles written since their daughter went missing from the Praia da Luz holiday resort in the Algarve on 4 May last year, 42 of which were in the Daily Express.


In other news…
* Oscar-winning actress Halle Berry has named her newborn daughter Nahla Ariela Aubry, meaning "drink of water" in Arabic.
* British film director and writer Anthony Minghella has died aged 54. He suffered a haemorrhage yesterday, days after having surgery for cancer of the tonsils and neck.
* SEX and the City beauty Kristin Davis has denied that she appears in photos claiming to show her performing a sex act. As the photos surfaced on the internet at the beginning of the week, there were rumours there was also a sex tape to accompany them.
* THE Mighty Boosh boys are squaring up for a battle with the HONEY MONSTER in a bitter legal showdown. The latest Sugar Puffs TV advert bears much more than a passing resemblance to cape-wearing NOEL FIELDING and JULIAN BARRATT’s hit telly show. The Boosh maestros are going puffing-mad at the cereal brand for “copying” their unique “crimping” singing technique.

CLIPS

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DLXMxU-FC1E