Wedding ends in massive fight

A couple celebrated their wedding vows in classic style, by brawling with one another, then attacking members of another wedding party, just hours after their service.
Police say the fight between dentist David W. Wielechowski, 32, and his bride, Christa Vattimo, 25, began as the couple were about to enter their seventh-floor room at the Holiday Inn in Ross Township, just north of Pittsburgh, on Saturday night.
The dentist 'used a karate-style kick with his leg to kick Christa, knocking her to the floor,' the criminal complaint said.
Two guests of another wedding heard the bride's screams and rushed over to help her. But when they restrained Wielechowski, his bride began attacking her rescuers, police said.
The fight traveled from a hallway to an elevator then into the hotel lobby where, police said, the couple threw metal plant pots - with the plants still in them - into an elevator at the men who tried to break up the fight.
'It was pretty wild,' Ross police Sgt. Dave Syska said.
Police arrived to find the dentist lying on the floor of the lobby and his bride 'yelling loudly' and 'apparently highly intoxicated.'
Both bride and groom were charged with simple assault, criminal mischief and disorderly conduct. The bride was also charged with public intoxication.
She asked a district judge not to require her husband to stay away from her while the charges were pending.
Both refused comment when they left Allegheny County arraignment court Sunday after spending the night in separate holding cells.
The bride, still wearing her wedding gown, was picked up by her father. The dentist left on his own, one eye swollen shut, wearing tuxedo pants, a bloody T-shirt and one shoe.
The couple face a preliminary hearing May 7. The couple had been married in the Bahamas last month, but repeated their vows Saturday before a reception for 150 guests.

Ecuador could make good sex a right for women

A new inalienable right could be enshrined soon in Ecuador's constitution: the pursuit of sexual happiness for women.
The proposal by a member of the ruling party has created a stir in this socially conservative Andean nation, where a constitutional assembly is at work.
Assembly member Maria Soledad Vela, who belongs to President Rafael Correa's party and sits on a committee defining fundamental constitutional rights, said women have traditionally been seen as sexual objects or in a solely reproductive role in Ecuador.
On Monday, Vela said the right to sexual enjoyment means ensuring women can make free, responsible and informed decisions about their sex lives.
Fellow committee members proposed separate provisions for women's sexual and reproductive rights, an alternative Vela approved.
Opposition Assembly member Leonardo Viteri accused Vela of trying to decree orgasm by law, saying it 'isn't possible.'
'I never asked for the right to orgasm, only the right to enjoyment,' Vela responded.

In other news…
* Keeley Hazell releases her debut single ‘Voyeur’ on Friday. The song is written by the team behind bits by Kylie Minogue, Pussycat Dolls, and Holly Valance. And there’s a bit of a raunchy video to accompany it…
* KATE MOSS and JAMIE HINCE have booked out a former power station in Wapping for their wedding party in September. The loved-up couple will be inviting friends and family to the restaurant and gallery on September 6.
* Actress-turned-singer Scarlett Johansson is spotted canoodling with writer Salman Rushdie in the video for her new song. Johansson is filmed wearing glasses and smiling widely into the camera as Rushdie tells her a joke and nuzzles her neck in the video for her new single Falling Down. Falling Down is taken from the album Anywhere I Lay My Head, which is made up of Tom Waits covers.
* The Spice Girls have turned down the chance to perform at the Mandela birthday party gig – preferring to congratulate the big man himself personally. They’ve all ‘got a lot on’ is the official excuse.
* And just because a daily blog is incomplete without at least one mention of Winehouse…she’s planning to tour the US this summer despite her current life crisis issues. She’s also reported to be planning to start her own record label as her deal with Island records is set to end after her next record.

CLIPS

A cheeky glimpse at Keeley...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pZZuxC2CqDg

Britney returns to TV screens

It seems like Jamie Spears is something of a magician.
Ever since Britney’s dad took control of her finances, and effectively her life, the singer has gone from strength to strength.
The dramas of a few months ago now seem but a distant memory.
A testament to how far she's come is Britney's callback to US show How I Met Your Mother, in which she had a cameo as a receptionist called Abby.
After her previous stint earned the show its highest ever ratings, with Britney getting good reviews to boot, the producers decided to give get her back in for another appearance. Good skills Britney, it’s about time she started getting things sorted, perhaps her and her dad could give Winehouse some advice…


Blake tells Amy: Give me £3m

Singer Amy Winehouse’s jailbird husband is demanding a £3million divorce payout as he rages over being dumped.

Junkie Blake Fielder-Civil, 25, has told his lawyers he wants £250,000 for every month of their year’s marriage, despite being behind bars for part of it.
And he fumed to pals after being ditched by the 24-year-old Back to Black singer: “She wouldn’t even be alive if it wasn’t for me.”
A friend said: “At first Blake refused to believe Amy had dumped him, but his initial devastation has been replaced by rage.
“He said Amy owes everything to him — he inspired her music and says he saved her life.
“As a result of Amy his life will never be the same and he wants to make her compensate him. He has demanded £3million at the very least from her £10million fortune.”
Sources at Pentonville Prison said Fielder-Civil had gone back to his old druggie ways after it was revealed Amy had bedded her manager’s assistant Alex Haynes, 22.
He begged for heroin from another lag and inhaled it after getting his first clean drugs report in three months.
He has since been put on suicide watch at the North London jail, where he is held on remand awaiting a hearing on assault and trial-fixing charges.
Meanwhile Amy’s dad Mitch, 57, gave her new love his blessing yesterday after cutting short a Spanish holiday and flying home.
Later Amy emerged dressed in hot pants and knotted cropped shirt. Alex left the house alone to avoid them being pictured together.

Amy has since been denying the love affair ever happened, and that she has not been cheating on hubby Blake.

In other news…
* Noel Fielding and Jamie Hince are at war. The Kills frontman Jamie is angry at how much time his band partner Alison Mosshart spends with Mighty Boosh comic Noel. Alison and Noel were spotted getting very cosy indeed at a party in London at the weekend.
* Fans have hit out at this year's Glastonbury line-up which includes such musical luminaries as Shakin' Stevens, James Blunt and The Feeling. The full line-up was leaked by NME.com inviting widespread criticism for the lack of real musical big-hitters. The festival has already attracted criticism for its choice of headliner, Jay-Z, with many blaming the rapper for Glastonbury not selling out this year. Its other headliners Kings Of Leon and The Verve have also been slammed as underwhelming although there was a spark of hope with rumours that Amy Winehouse might play on Saturday.
* Ashley Cole and his Girls Aloud wife, Cheryl, are living together – determined to save their marriage after he cheated on her, according to the Chelsea star's mother. 'Ash and Cheryl are together, both living at home and are trying their best to get their marriage back on track,' said Sue Cole. Meanwhile Girl’s Aloud were paid £25,000 each by a wealthy billionaire OAP to sing at his birthday for just one hour. The pop group were invited to perform a 45-minute set at the 70th birthday of British billionaire Eddie Healey.
* Kylie Minogue has given up hopes of cracking the US charts for good, her friends now claim. The singer, 39, reportedly told friends, 'I gave it my best shot. I won't try again.' Her dejected remarks come after her highly publicised album, 'X', failed to make the top 100 of the US Billboard charts, selling just 6000 copies on debut.

CLIPS

I really hope this is real, that would make my day...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tHXM97aYo_o

What a weekend for Winehouse

In one of the most jam-packed weekends to date for Winehouse, she’s split up with Blake, is already planning their divorce, is rumoured to have cheated on him with not one but two Blake-lookalikes, has revealed her new supposedly straight-laced fella Alex Haines, and was arrested again for assault and pictured leaving Holborn police station after spending the night in the cells. Her father has now called for the singer to be sectioned to save her from killing herself with drugs.

The singer is rumoured to have had an affair months ago with US photographer, just out of rehab she began romping with American Blake Wood – dubbed Blake II by her friends. She then found comfort in Alex Haines – her manager’s aide, and has been seeing him in secret ever since. Dubbed a “clean-cut” lad, Alex is 22 years old, and doesn’t smoke or take drugs – sounds like him and Winehouse are going to have loads in common. Winehouse’s camp however hope he’ll do the troubled star the world of good, just the right kind of influence she needs at the moment in her crazy life. Reports say she’s yet to tell jailed hubby Blake about the affair…something tells me that if he’s read a paper this weekend he’s probably already found out…

Rude Britannia

BRITS are ruder now than ten years ago – with spitting our most hated bad habit, a poll has revealed...although picking your nose does not feature.
More than half of us believe bad manners are the UK’s biggest problem – and blame parents for not stamping it out.
The poll of 2,800 people – carried out for ITV1’s Tonight programme – found swearing was our second most hated habit, and queue-jumping came third.
Other habits shamed on the show – on tonight at 8pm – included playing loud music and not giving a seat to a pregnant woman.
Esther Rantzen, patron of the Campaign for Courtesy, told the programme: “My generation has a lot to answer for. Youth culture in the 60s and early 70s threw out every rulebook and thought it was clever to use four-letter words. Things should go back – not to the old deference, not to grovelling, not to any of that – but just to feeling respect.
“That would make everyone’s life more pleasant.”
Etiquette coach Diana Mather said: “It’s part of the breakdown in society. We stopped having respect for figures in authority – partly because those in authority didn’t command it.”

Top ten rudest behaviour:

1) Spitting 27.6%

2) Swearing 20.2%

3) Queue jumping 13.3%

4) Not saying please or thank you 10.1%

5) Playing music on an MP3 in public 6.9%

6) Passing wind/belching in public 4.8%

7) Speaking loudly on a mobile phone in public 4.7%

8) Inconsiderate driving i.e. stealing a parking space 4.7%

9) Not giving up a seat for a pregnant passenger 3.3%

10) Not holding the door for the next person 1.8%

* Other forms of rudeness account for remaining 2.7%

In other news…
* Billie Piper has finally admitted after the tummy stroking pictures of last week that she is indeed three months pregnant. The ex- Doctor Who star and her hubby are said to be over the moon, and are eagerly awaiting the arrival of their little fox.
* US TV star Miley Cyrus has been forced to apologise to fans after posing for topless – at the age of 15! The Hannah Montana actress has done an ‘artistic’ photo shoot for Vanity Fair…but her fans haven’t been seeing the artistic side of a child getting her kit off for a mag, and the article and photos are not what she thought they were going to be. Surprisingly. She’s now in the process of apologising to her fans, “I feel so embarrassed.”
* Jennifer Aniston has been pictured looking ‘touchy feely’ with Jessica Simpson’s ex John Mayer. Word on the street says that at their lunch date he had a sandwich and she apparently nibbled on his lettuce…sounds like love to me.
* The Mandela Concert is getting bigger and bigger – with Leona Lewis the most recent star signed. Joining Leona and Mandela on June 27th in Hyde Park will be: Amy Winehouse, Duffy, Razorlight, Keane, Sugarbabes, Eminem, Jamelia. Tickets open for registration tomorrow in a Glasto style, priced at a hefty £65.

CLIPS

Oops...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ztRYmnY0s84&feature=bz302

Brand beds a Virgin

RUSSELL BRAND has been sent packing from America – because of visa woe in New York.
But Bizarre’s two-time Shagger of The Year managed to make up for the blow by pulling a Virgin air hostess on the flight home.

Russell flew to the Big Apple on Wednesday to film the biggest interview of his career. He was due to be quizzed by David Letterman about new movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall — which has just become No1 at the US box office. But when he arrived at JFK, humourless immigration officials decided to spoil his finest hour with a paperwork problem. After a painful eight-hour delay — with only a book about Alexander The Great and a chap with bad trainers from Gambia to keep him company — he boarded the same plane to go back home. Last night Russell said: “Now that I know what it’s like to be an illegal immigrant, I’ve cancelled my membership to the BNP.”

The huge disappointment of missing Letterman was lifted by a blonde by the name of Nicola Toft. The leggy lass, who was pictured creeping out of Russell’s gaff, had been looking after him in the luxury cabin. She caught his eye, he turned on the charm...and then it was only a matter of time before the undercarriage came down.
Russell added: “I was told I was travelling ‘Virgin Upper’ and I misheard it.” As soon as the plane landed back in Britain she jumped in his limo at Heathrow for the ride back to his North London lair.

The Letterman show interview has been rescheduled.

For the icing on the cake, Judd Apatow, the main man behind Forgetting Sarah Marshall, has just confirmed that Russell will play his first leading role in Apatow’s next Hollywood comedy.

Potter stars eclipse £10m Winehouse

Amy Winehouse may not look much like a millionaire at times but the disheveled singer is now worth a cool £10 million. The 24-year-old makes her debut appearance at 10th on the Sunday Times Young Music Millionaires list today, but she still has some way to go before overtaking her young British rivals.

A separate list of Britain's Richest 100 Young Millionaires reveals that 18-year-old Harry Potter star Daniel Radcliffe is worth double that amount at £20 million. And even the lesser lights of the young magician franchise are up there, with Emma Watson - who played Hermione Granger - also worth a cool £10 million and Rupert Grint - who starred as Ron Weasley - rated at £7 million.

On the music list, both Devonian soulstress Joss Stone and Georgian-born singer-songwriter Katie Melua have an estimated fortune more than Winehouse – at £12 million and £18 million respectively. All have some way to go to get anywhere near the top of the list, however, as the richest youngster by far is Dhani Harrison, the son of late Beatle George, who is said to be worth a wince-inducing £160 million, although it is shared with his mother Olivia. Violinist Vanessa Mae is second on the list of British musicians under 30, with £32 million, while the three members of Coldplay who aren't Chris Martin are joint third with £30 million.

The highest new entry on this year's top 100 is Manchester-born fashion model Karen Elson at sixth with the £25 million she shares with her White Stripes frontman husband Jack White. Among the older music stars, Sir Paul McCartney tops the newspaper's list with £500 million, while Guy Hands, who purchased EMI for £2.4 billion, is the highest new entry at seventh with £250 million.

TOP YOUNG MUSIC MILLIONAIRES
1. Dhani Harrison - £160 million
2. Vanessa-Mae Nicholson - £32 million

3. Guy Berryman (Coldplay) - £30 million

3. Jonny Buckland (Coldplay) - £30 million

3. Will Champion (Coldplay) - £30 million

6. Karen Elson and Jack White - £25 million

7. Katie Melua - £18 million

8. Joss Stone - £12 million

9. Charlotte Church and Gavin Henson - £11 million

10. Craig David - £10 million

10. Amy Winehouse - £10 million

10. Will Young - £10 million

13. Katherine Jenkins - £9 million

14. Corinne Bailey Rae - £6 million

14. Natasha Bedingfield - £6 million

14. Leona Lewis - £6 million

14. Simon Webbe - £6 million

18. Jamie Cullum - £5 million

In other news…
* Wesley Snipes has been jailed for three years yesterday for tax evasion. The actor, 45, got the maximum term — despite pleas by famous pals. Snipes was told he must report to jail near his New Jersey home at a later date. The Blade star dodged more than £7.5million in income tax at the height of his career, the court heard in Ocala, Florida. Actors Denzel Washington and Woody Harrelson both gave character references to reduce the sentence for the star, and lawyers for Snipes said he was duped.
* ABBEY CLANCY had a night to forget at her boyfriend PETER CROUCH's boozy birthday bash. The model ended up in tears after getting involved in a shouting match with former Big Brother individual AISLEYNE HORGAN-WALLACE at The Valmont Club in Chelsea. Organ-Wallace made a move on the Liverpool striker, which resulted in some cross words for Crouchy from the missus, and both left the party via the back entrance of the club. A fellow clubber said: “Abbey was drunk and stormed out into the smoking area in tears. “Peter also looked a bit worse for wear and followed her to calm her down. “She gave him and earful and they left not long after.”
* DAVID and VICTORIA BECKHAM are trying for another baby, the footballer revealed yesterday. Footie ace Becks, 32, said he and Posh, 34, “were working on it” now the Spice Girls tour has finished.
* Carmen Electra is set to marry her Korn sweetheart Rob Patterson. The lucky rocker asked the stunner to be his bride while the couple were in Las Vegas celebrating her 36th birthday. Electra, has previously been married firstly to basketball bad boy Dennis Rodman and then again to rocker Dave Navarro. She recently revealed she wanted to start a family with Patterson, her boyfriend of almost a year. She said: "I have pictured myself as a mother for years and look forward to fulfilling that strong desire."Now it looks as though her wish will be granted – although judging by previous records he better get in there quick before she changes her mind.

CLIPS

Sadly I know these people...and yes they did choreograph this beforehand and it took them ages of practising...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=19zjDGFdKS8

Amy's most depraved night yet

AMY WINEHOUSE was facing arrest last night after allegedly attacking two men while out on a wild drug-fuelled bender.
The junkie singer, 24, is to be quizzed by police after claims she headbutted a Good Samaritan who hailed her a cab outside a bar.
Rehab star Amy, said to have punched a second victim in the face, sank to a horrific new low while high on Class A drugs.
Onlookers told how the married singer also snogged a mystery fella at a nightspot and shocked punters by overturning tables and drinks.
She was later seen smoking drugs in the street, walked into a lamppost, and riled a cabbie by paying only half her promised fare home.
Trouble allegedly began after Amy arrived with pals including BABYSHAMBLES star MIK WHITNALL at a pub in Camden, North London, after a boozy afternoon in her flat.

Once inside, she is said to have hit Moroccan musician Mustapha el Mounmi after he refused to give way to her at the pool table.
Mustapha, 27, had a bruised eye and swollen lip.
An onlooker said: “She was off her face, throwing drinks around and turning over tables. Amy screamed, ‘I am a legend, get these people out. I want to take drugs’.”

In more sober times Amy and Blake are currently in talks with Penguin publishers to deliver a warts and all book about their marriage. The offer on the table is £1 million.

Big Jim will be Gavin it large

Man of the moment JAMES CORDEN is moving to London to make the most of his new-found fame and fortune.

The Gavin & Stacey star has sold his flat near his mum in Buckinghamshire and is setting up a bachelor pad.
Big Jim, who co-writes the BBC comedy with Ruth Jones and plays Smithy, is hoping to topple Russell Brand as Bizarre Shagger Of The Year.
The chubby chappie is moving in with his best mate and fellow ladies’ man, actor Dominic Cooper, who starred as lothario Willoughby in the recent BBC version of Sense And Sensibility.
Jim told me the pair, are moving into a plush two-bed, two-bathroom pad in a nice part of South London in a couple of weeks.
He said: “Things have gone crazy for me over the past couple of months and I need to be in London.
“Me and Dom have lived together before but only for a couple of months so God knows what it’s going to be like. He loves the ladies as much as I do so it should be a lot of fun.
“I can’t wait to get in there. It’s going to be wicked and very messy. There’ll be plenty of wild parties and hopefully we’ll be entertaining lots of lovely ladies.”
Jimbo has already been credited with putting a smile back on LILY ALLEN’s face and he was a big success with the ladies at the Baftas at the weekend.
It looks like the big lad is familiarising himself with London’s late-night hotspots too.
He fell out of the Groucho Club looking bongoed the other night.
He had T4 telly presenter MIQUITA OLIVER in tow.
He’s had a bit of stick for his emotional speech at the Baftas the other night but I reckon it showed he is lapping up every minute of his time in the spotlight.

In other news…
* MARK RONSON may be delighted about his relationship with DAISY LOWE but not everyone is so happy. Her ex, singer WILL BLONDELLE, was devastated when Daisy dumped him in February, the same month superproducer Ronson took the teen model to the Brits as his date. A pal said: “He was so gutted when she dumped him. Hearing about Ronson has brought it all back.”
* GUY RITCHIE has bought MADONNA a £10,000, blinged-up, ice pick-style dagger designed by JADE JAGGER. The film director splashed out on the gift to mark the launch of Madge’s new album Hard Candy — out next Monday — and celebrate her No1 single 4 Minutes. A source said: “Madge already has a limited-edition Jade Jagger dagger. Guy thought it would go with the other one — which cost £100,000 and is a one-off.”
* Plastic surgery book created for kids. ‘My Beautiful Mommy’ is an attempt to calm children who are worried about their parents having cosmetic operations. Aimed at four- to seven-year-olds, and written by an American specialist, it has gone down like botched liposuction in some parts, thanks to pearls of wisdom such as mommy will 'feel better' and 'prettier' if she goes for a nip and tuck.
* Tom Cruise and Katie Homes splashed out $100,000 on daughter Suri's second birthday party. The A-listers threw a butterfly-themed bash for little Suri, which included a four-tier polka-dot cake topped with yellow and white sugar butterflies. Each of the 24 party guests got their own cake with their name written in edible calligraphy. The partygoers tucked into €28,000 of food from chef Wolfgang Puck, and €11,000 worth of flowers were brought in to decorate.

CLIPS

Elephant goes mental and kills 3 people...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QDR_ZwfsVzg

A pain called Zane is firmly out of the frame

KELLY Brook has split from fiancé Billy Zane.

The sexy Strictly Come Dancing star is single again after deciding last month to end her four-year relationship with the movie smoothie.
Kelly, 28, has been thinking over her life since dad Ken died last November – and decided she was too young to wed 42-year-old Billy.
She appeared in public without her engagement ring for the first time at the TV Baftas in London on Sunday.
Actor Billy is now moving back to Los Angeles for good after moving out of their £1million farmhouse in Kent.
A source said: “After much soul-searching, Kelly decided that Billy is not the man she wants to marry and has called off the engagement.
“The split is completely amicable and the decision was made after long conversations here and in the US. They remain good friends.”
The couple had planned to tie the knot in a romantic ceremony at their 600-year-old farmhouse last year.
But ex Big Breakfast host Kelly kept putting back the date due to work – and Ken’s death then left her shattered.
After a tough few months, the couple had a romantic holiday in St Barts in the Caribbean in January.
Billy had hoped to rescue the relationship and get spliced this year. But since they came back to Britain, Kelly started losing her desire to get married – despite his enthusiasm.
The source said: “When her dad passed away she spent a lot of time mulling over life and decided she was too young to settle down.
“Billy was keen, but she kept delaying plans for the big day. He started asking questions – and they eventually decided to go their separate ways.”
Last night a spokesman for Kelly confirmed the split.


Thrill-seekers flock to death plunge waterfall

Fancy a relaxing dip in the pool? This one has got it all: sun, water... and a 110m (360ft) death plunge.
Tourists whose excitement threshold is not met by bungee jumping or scuba diving have created a new craze – having their picture taken right on the edge of a waterfall.
The daredevil stunt is performed at the appropriately named Devil's Swimming Pool, which forms part of Victoria Falls.
Guides at the natural wonder on the Zimbabwe/Zambia border insist it is safe to pose there during the dry season because that is when the flow of the Zambezi river is at its lowest.
However, thrill-seekers have to wade across strong currents to get to the pool and are then swept towards the lip of the waterfall.
Francisc Stugren and his wife, Angela, took these snaps when they visited the falls to celebrate their first wedding anniversary.
Mr Stugren, 35, claimed the thrill of the interesting new watersport was 'better than bungee jumping'.
He said: 'Being in the Devil's Pool is a serious adrenaline rush for the first few minutes.
'The thought that you may get sucked away from the relatively calm waters of the pool and down the foamy hell into the pit makes you giddy with apprehension.'
Mr Stugren, from Seattle, US, added: 'If you jump in it adds up to the excitement, but you can also get in gently. It's great fun.
'Some people enjoy it quietly, swimming, looking and thinking, while others just keep screaming.'
It's certainly something not to be attempted during the wet season, when 500million litres of water cascade over the pool every minute.

In other news…
* PARIS HILTON was banned from a top hotel – after signing her name on the expensive wallpaper. The dippy heiress, 27, scribbled “Paris Moscow 2008” in black marker in the Hyatt’s £8,000-a-night presidential suite for a photoshoot during a stay in the Russian capital.
* Authorities in Brazil are searching for a missing Roman Catholic priest, after he floated into the air lifted by hundreds of helium party balloons, and then vanished off the coast. The priest wanted to break a 19-hour record for the most hours flying with balloons to raise money for a spiritual rest-stop for truckers in Paranagua. He has not been seen since take-off.
* Bobby, a Yorkshire terrier, has received a polling card in his name to vote in the forthcoming elections. The card reads 'Bobby Huckvale' and advises the three-year-old dog where to go to cast his ballot in the local elections on May 1.
* Everyone’s favourite Darius has began his West End run in ‘Gone With the Wind.’ The first reviews highlight the enthusiastic wannabe as the star of the show, with the Daily Express gushing, "only Darius' performance saves this show from crumbling into utter mediocrity."

CLIPS

Wanna hear the sound of Sex and the City the movie? Listen to the preview of the Fergie song from the soundtrack...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LQEX1VIwnfc

MP to marry his Cheeky Girl

MP LEMBIT OPIK is to wed Cheeky Girl GABRIELA IRIMIA, it was announced last night.

The Lib-Dem proposed to the Romanian pop babe in Rome after dating for more than a year.
Lembit, 42, went down on one knee by the Trevi Fountain with a platinum Tiffany diamond ring.
Gabriela, 25, said: “When I said ‘Yes’ he started to cry. I was so happy that I just kept smiling and laughing.”
The couple will wed next year or in 2010.
They met in 2006 on Channel Five’s All Star Talent Show while Lembit was engaged to TV weathergirl SIAN LLOYD.
He denies cheating on Sian, who wed millionaire Jonathan Ashman in January. Lembit said: “I hope people will now be happy for us, even those who’ve been negative.”

Asda's Carla for Coleen swap

WAYNE ROONEY’s fiancée COLEEN MCLOUGHLIN is being axed as the face of Asda’s fashion label – and may be substituted by elegant CARLA BRUNI.
The supermarket chain no longer wants the WAG image for its George range and is instead seeking a more glamorous look.
Bosses were impressed by the rave fashion reviews enjoyed by French President NICOLAS SARKOZY’s wife, 40, on their recent State visit to England – and reckon she will pull in more shoppers than soccer ace Rooney’s missus-to-be.
Asda spokesman Ed Watson said: “Among the names being considered is Carla Bruni. She’s very attractive and a highly stylish person. We feel she would fit in very well with the George look.”
Asda has admitted it is keen to attract middle-class shoppers. George brand director Fiona Lambert said: “Coleen has been a fantastic ambassador for us.
“But we want to show that our core fashions are for everyone.
“We have been chasing younger customers rather than people who shop at Asda week-in, week-out – namely mums and dads who buy their clothing during the weekly shopping trip.”
Coleen, 22, due to wed the England striker this summer, was signed as the face of George for £3million in 2006 when WAGs were all the rage.
But in recent months George sales have stalled just as shopaholic Coleen has plumped for more designer brands.
Other older beauties Asda may sign include Joanna Lumley, 61, Dame Helen Mirren, 62, and Elle MacPherson, 45.

In other news…
* Alesha Dixton is reported to have split from Aston Villa star John Carew. The former Mis-Teeq singer has a BBC3 documentary out soon but is focusing on her new album after getting two offers from rival record companies.
* WAYNE ROONEY is learning Italian – and plays the language CDs in his motor on the way to football training apparently. He said fans need not worry, Rooney – who is also studying for GCSEs – is NOT heading to Inter Milan.
* Madonna is set to make one festival appearance this summer – at Radio 1’s Big Weekender on 10th May.
* Kylie's finally lost it?...with a run-of-the-mill boring track. See what you think of her new promo video below...

CLIPS

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WPg7qJU8P4Q

Pushing up Daisy

A NEW showbiz romance is blossoming between MARK RONSON and underwear model DAISY LOWE.
The superstar producer has worked his charms on the teenage modelling sensation – and the pair are now firmly an item.
If 18-year-old Daisy wasn’t the offspring of former BUSH rocker GAVIN ROSSDALE and hellraiser PEARL LOWE I’m pretty sure the 14-year age gap would have been a problem for her parents.
But not for Mark.
He was introduced to Daisy last year by their mutual pal SEAN LENNON, son of BEATLES legend JOHN.
Mark, 32, was instantly smitten with the Agent Provocateur model’s stunning looks and cheeky personality, starting a charm offensive on the spot.
He took her to The Brits as his secret date in February – when he won the Best Male Artist award – and she was snapped looking mighty fine.
And since then his efforts to win her affections have gone into overdrive – even flying her to Miami for a sunsoaked holiday.
Anything to catch a glimpse of her in the freebie undies from her big employers, eh?
Daisy has also been round to his lair in New York as well as his country pile in Henley, Oxfordshire.
It’s an impressive piece of swordsmanship by Mark – who only recently split up from his long-term girlfriend, American artist COSI THEODOLI-BRASCHI.
A source said: “Mark has put everything into romancing Daisy. She is a stunning girl and he was dead set on making her his new girlfriend.
“He has pulled out all the stops to impress her. She is living between London and New York, as does Mark, so there is no problem with long-distance relationship headaches.”
There were rumours for a while that Ronson was making the beast with two backs with AMY WINEHOUSE – though none of them were true.
Daisy has hit it off with Amy, which helped things along because the troubled star is one of Mark’s closest pals.
Daisy has had a pretty mental 18 years. Dad Gavin was a model himself for a while but found fame as lead singer with Brit rock band Bush and had moderate success with his later project INSTITUTE.
He is now married to GWEN STEFANI.
Now a fashion designer, her mum Pearl was lead singer with indie band POWDER.
She was best pals with SADIE FROST and JUDE LAW and the ringleader in some of the most debauched antics of London’s Promiscuous Hill set – which was all kicking off as Daisy grew up.

Now Leona gets No1 US album
LEONA LEWIS yesterday claimed her greatest achievement yet – securing No1 in the US album chart.
Spirit shifted more than 200,000 copies – making her the first British solo artist to debut at No1 in the US. Leona said: “The past few weeks have felt like a dream.
“I didn’t think things could get better after being No1 in the UK. I’m just so thankful.”
Her single Bleeding Love will join the album at the top – as I predicted earlier this week.
Leona’s mentor SIMON COWELL took a break from counting cash and said: “What Leona has achieved is incredible.
“This is the hardest market to crack.
“For her debut album to be No1 is unbelievable.”
And her double will be secured with Bleeding Love beating competition from MADONNA to return for a second stint at the top of the Billboard Hot 100.
Bleeding Love has sold more than a million copies in the States and Leona has had No1 singles and albums in 20 countries.

In other news...

· Veteran comedian Bill Cosby is reportedly set to enter the hip hop world at the grand old age of 70 - but the clean-living family man won't be dropping any raps because he thinks the genre is inherently negative. This could be interesting...The granddad is to release 'Cosby Narratives Vol. 1: State of Emergency', which features the comedian's stories with hip hop backing tracks.
· Emily Eavis is hoping Pete Doherty will be out in time for Glastonbury…she’s spoken to his agent and she’s claiming it’s going to be the first gig he plays post prison. It will involve him getting let out early for good behaviour…let’s hope for her sake he starts behaving better then…
· Madonna’s set to play live on the internet – with her return to live show celebrated by being beamed around America via msn.com. The pop superstar has confirmed she’ll play a one-off show at New York’s Roseland Ballroom on April 30th, and the gig will be broadcast live to U.S. viewers on MSN.com.The concert will be re-broadcast on May 15th for the rest of the world.
· BB star Bez has been declared bankrupt – for the second time. He went broke in 2004, but was rescued by his BB win of £50,000, and now less than four years later he’s lost it all and is back to square one. Gutted.

Amy given album ultimatum

AMY WINEHOUSE has been warned by her label to keep out of trouble – or NEVER release another album.
Chiefs at Universal issued the stern ultimatum that the druggy singer can only put out another CD if she is clean.
The firm’s European head honcho, LUCIAN GRAINGE, made a similar threat earlier this year to get her into rehab after The Sun exposed footage of her smoking crack.
But label bosses have watched her slip back to her old ways and have reminded her of the conditions of releasing a third record. A source revealed: “Amy has been reminded of her responsibilities. Unless she is clean she will not be allowed to release another album.
“She took notice when Lucian talked to her earlier in the year and agreed to go to rehab. But she didn’t take it seriously enough.
“They would never release her from her deal, they would just not put an album out.”
On Saturday I revealed Amy’s label are now privately accepting there will be no album until 2009 after she scrapped plans to start recording in the Bahamas. And my source added: “The label were not impressed. She has been warned about her behaviour and needs to keep the standards up.”
Universal’s stance suggests this could be the last album of her deal. Otherwise they would be churning something out to capitalise on her fame. And while it’s commendable they are taking a tough stand, I think Universal need Amy more than she needs them.

Pete Doherty – shooting up in prison

Jailed rocker PETE DOHERTY stares vacantly in his cell — amid revelations he is shooting up heroin in the prison’s detox unit.
The junkie singer, 29, has been injecting smack smuggled into London’s tough Wormwood Scrubs slammer.
Doherty, jailed for snubbing rehab orders, is paying for the drugs by begging credit from fellow lags and writing IOUs.
A fellow inmate said: “We can’t believe how much he’s still clucking for it. They put him inside to force him to give up but Pete always has a need to feed his habit.”
Doherty was banged up for 3½ months last week for failing to take drug tests ordered by a court after he admitted possessing heroin, crack, cannabis and horse tranquiliser ketamine.
He is sharing a cell in the Scrubs’ Connibere detox wing with a 28-year-old drug dealer.
Doctors are giving him heroin substitute methadone in a bid to wean him off. But the rocker is topping up with the real thing. The fellow inmate said: “He hasn’t received his prison wage yet so he’s getting the drugs on credit and writing IOUs.”
Doherty has struck up a friendship with a burly ex-streetfighter named Ray, who is protecting him after lags started a rumour the singer brought a stash of drugs with him from the outside.
The inmate said: “It wasn’t true but it was enough to make people want to find him and rob him. Ray is making sure this doesn’t happen.”
Prison officers are said to treat Doherty like a superstar – and tramp from other wings to get his autograph.
The inmate said: “He usually signs his name next to a scribbled smiley face with a trilby.”
He added that Doherty sleeps on a urine-stained mattress and has been told he will be transferred to an open prison when a place is available.
A Prison Service spokesman said last night: “We will act on any intelligence which indicates drugs are being smuggled or abused.”


In other news…
* Cheryl Cole has been secretly plotting her solo pop move with top producer T2. He recently hit no. 2 with single Heartbroken – and apparently the two have been synchronising their diaries to find time to get in the studio and work on some new material together.
* BB8’s Ziggy and ex-WAG Charlotte Meares? The two were picked leaving the Crystal Club together last night. Another great Z-list couple in the making.
* Alicia Douvall’s 12 year old daughter Georgia wants a boob job – in order to launch her modelling career. Her plastic fantastic mum has even given the thumbs up, once she's 16, and reckons her girl can be more famous than Britney Spears.
* David and Victoria are sending Cruz to an exclusive Jewish school in the US. They have been meeting staff at the top private nursery attached to a Jewish temple, and have said it’s the perfect place for their youngest to start school.

Facebook groups 'glorify cocaine'

Revellers are boasting on Facebook about their drug-fuelled escapades and posting photos of themselves snorting cocaine.
Thousands of people are joining forces on the popular social networking site to promote the use of the deadly class A drug.
There are more than 500 dedicated groups, some with more than 600 members. They discuss how much they fork out for a gram and the amount they are able to consume in a 'single binge'.
One member boasted, 'I have four lines of cocaine before work', and a youngster even asked to have drugs sent to him so he could 'get through' his school day.
Celebrity drug users such as Pete Doherty are regularly praised.
Last night, anti-drugs campaigners demanded the groups be shut down – stating they normalise drug use and make it seem socially acceptable. Peter Stoker, director of National Drug Prevention Alliance, said: 'These sites are advertising the use of drugs as a good and fun activity because the people involved are disciples in the church of cocaine.
'They are not going to describe how dangerous drugs are or warn that 70 per cent of people who take cocaine will become addicted.'

Celebrity Finish Line Flash Quotes – London marathon 2008

Over 35,000 people started the 26.2 mile marathon run around London’s streets yesterday. The first person to cross the finish line with a time of 2hr 5mins and 15 secs was Martin Lel. Some celebs who made it round were:
James Cracknell (British Olympic rower)“I had a good race. It was a strong first half of the race for me. About six miles to go I felt I was slowing, so kicked to try and maintain my speed. In the end it just got harder and harder and I was struggling to make the finish.”
Tony Audenshaw (British actor who is best known for his role as Bob Hope in ITV 1’s soap, Emmerdale)“In one way I was disappointed that I didn’t break three hours – but what’s a second or so between friends. I was running as tarzan to keep the ‘banana army theme going’ and of course raising lots of money for our charity [leukaemia research]. Yes, I’ll be back next year if the old legs can keep running.”
Gordon Ramsay (Celebrity chef and television personality)“What a wonderful atmosphere! I was a little worried at the beginning because it was warm but when the showers came it was a nice relief. The whole 26 miles there were people shouting and cheering, it was so good to hear. My only concern was that Michel Roux would beat me. Having said that, I think I’m much younger than him and I have time on my side.”
Graham Poll (Former English football referee)“I knew running 26 miles was going to be tough but I didn’t realise it was going to be that tough! One of the things that kept me going was seeing people running for a charity or a loved one, that really spurs you on. Next year, not likely.
Ben Fogle (TV presenter)“Watching the marathon on TV you tend to get a little complacent, but crossing that line really was a big relief to me. I was running for the RNLI and I know there were lots of other people doing the same. I hope my little bit adds to this great charity and then I’ll know that my run was worthwhile.”
Ronan Keating (Pop Singer)“This was my first marathon and what a great feeling it was. Everything they told me about the atmosphere and the people on the streets was true. It is true that my training didn’t go any further than a couple of six milers – my wife will vouch for that.
When you run for a reason or a charity it makes it all worth while. I know the charity [Cancer Research UK] I was running for, me running here today will help enormously and I’ll be back.”
Chris Villiers / Nicola Wheeler (Emmerdale Actor / Actress)Nicola said “I didn’t enjoy running today but it was the first marathon I’ve done. I think next year with a lot more training I’ll be back to enjoy it more, as this time it was about getting through it.”
Chris said “I knew I could do 20 miles in about four hours and it was a great help running with Nicola as she carried me through the other six. In fact, working together all the way along helped us both through the difficult parts.”
Maasai Warriers“The atmosphere from the start all the way through to the end was absolutely fabulous. Hopefully we will get more money for our village and doing this marathon was such an enjoyable event for us all.”
Amanda Holden (TV Actress)“I enjoyed every second but when I got to 22 miles I found it really hard work. The crowd was amazing, shouting and banging and it really helped to keep me going. This is my first marathon but it won’t be my last. I’m absolutely knackered but I’m glad to do something for the Born Free Foundation.”
Blind Dave and escorted partner“We bloody well done it. We ran every single inch. I’m not sorry to say it’s over, but we’ve both worked damn hard. I would like to thank everyone that helped us; they made the job so much easier.”

In other news…
* ELIZABETH actress CATE BLANCHETT has given birth to her third child, Ignatius Martin Upton. Mother and child are well and Ignatius weighed in at just over eight pounds.
* PAMPERED Pete Doherty has been given a jail cell to himself and a bunk with TWO mattresses. Other inmates at West London’s Wormwood Scrubs are furious the star has been handed the extra bedding, a TV and a radio. Doherty, 29, is in the segregation wing with 16 high-risk lags, including paedophiles.
* A supermarket has been criticised for selling a padded plunge bra for seven-year-old girls. Tesco is selling a £4 "bust-booster" alongside vests for the seven to eight-year-old age range, it is reported. A fashion lecturer described the bra as "salacious".
* Jamie Oliver, the scourge of the processed meat snack, has been voted the most iconic British chef of all time. The 32-year-old made mincemeat of his competitors, roasting culinary queen ­Delia Smith into second and flambéing foul-mouthed Gordon Ramsay into third.

IT is the most rock ’n’ roll charity event of the year. On Wednesday night Noel Fielding held a Teenage Cancer Trust show.
First LILY ALLEN was kicked out of the gents’ loos by security at the after-party held at the Dolce nightclub in London’s West End.
She was in there with Noel and RAZORLIGHT frontman JOHNNY BORRELL.
I can’t think what that trio were doing together in a loo.
Lily claims she was dodging the queue in the ladies. I’ll take her word for it.
The Smile singer then went to celeb haunt the Groucho with actor JAMES CORDEN.
Rumour has it that the Gavin & Stacey star is smitten with the singer and he’s got a chance – Lily certainly doesn’t go for pretty boys.
Meanwhile, Noel and Johnny went on to Bungalow 8.
They were joined by 30 revellers before security tried to kick them out at 8am.
But the party refused to budge so police were called.
And a source revealed: “Johnny was running around the lobby screaming and shouting like a child. He was screaming: ‘Come and get me, come and get me.’
“After they left, the room was a disgrace. It was trashed and there was evidence of all sorts of naughty business in there.
“One of them is going to have to foot the bill.”
Oh and Noel’s earlier comedy gig was fantastic. Not that any of this lot will remember.

The only swingers club in the village

AN ENTREPRENEUR has outraged neighbours by launching a club for SWINGERS in their sleepy village.
Club Vanilla offers “play areas”, an exotic floor show, a Jacuzzi and free condoms.
Randy couples pay £45 for their night of debauchery – along with a disco and DJ – in a converted barn.
But residents in Horswell, North Devon, which has a population of just 1,000, want the club banned.
Sheila Moorcroft, 62, said: “This village is not a fitting place for it. It’s just so sleazy.
“I live at the next turning and don’t want these people turning round in my drive or knocking at the door asking if this is the right place.”
Club Vanilla has been set up by landowner Roger Stanbury on his upmarket caravan and camping site.
Last night he insisted: “This is for consenting adult couples and is not bothering anyone. It’s part of a nice and quiet evening at a nice and quiet adult venue.”
The barn – previously used for kids’ parties and weddings – is decked out in garish purple for the monthly event.
Swingers, handed a free cocktail on arrival, must obey a strict set of rules.
Unruly behaviour, drugs and cameras are all strictly forbidden, along with chewing gum.
North Devon Council said the club does not break the law. A spokesman added: “There are no restrictions on the licence which say they can’t have adult entertainment.”

In other news…
* SHAMED footballer Ashley Cole is spotted without his wedding ring on his finger
* FOUL-mouthed rapper Eminem has been confirmed to play at Mandela's 90th birthday at Hyde Park.
* Calum Best was caught chatting up a bloke’s wife at Linekers Bar in Puerto Banus, Spain. As the husband emerged from the loo he spotted Calum making a move on his missus and hatched a cunning plan — asking Calum to pose for a photo. Then, as as the lothario cracked a cheesy grin, he lumped him one. Hence Callum is currently sporting a shining black eye.
* A new film has turned the furry-nosed champions of Wimbledon Common into Badass Wombles of Central Park. Life is more dangerous in New York City than the peaceful surroundings of SW19 and the green heroes have become wise-cracking versions of themselves. It's all in a bid to promote British-made kids TV...important?

CLIPS

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QQUu3A3gAjE

Enigma, Ice and the Battleaxe - Gladiators named

CONTENDERS ready? The all-new Gladiators sure are.
TV Biz was the first to reveal that Sky One is reviving the Nineties cult combat show.
Now the names of some of the top British athletes who will star as battle commences next month have been revealed.
Among the men is Du’aine Ladejo, who won a silver medal at the 1996 Atlanta Olympics in the 400-metres relay.

The 37-year-old also starred in ITV reality show Celebrity Love Island in 2005. He gets the Gladiator name PREDATOR.
He is joined by heptathletes Caroline Pearce, Jenny Pacey and Lucy Boggis.
Stunning Caroline, 27, also models and has bobsleighed for Britain. She reportedly bleached her hair to match her Gladiator name ICE.
Jenny, 24, is another track and field star who has also bobsleighed for Britain. She used to host Sky One stunt challenge Mission Implausible.
She has been given the Gladiator name ENIGMA but is battling to be called Amazon or Sky.

Wonderkid Lucy, 19, is tipped to star in the heptathlon at the London 2012 Olympics – and will be TEMPEST in Gladiators.
Another contender is Scots hammer thrower Shirley Webb, 26, who gets the name BATTLEAXE.
As a high-board diver she also reached the quarter-finals of the 2004 Athens Olympics.
The expected 12-strong batch of Gladiators, to be named tomorrow, are also understood to include PANTHER, OBLIVION, ATLAS, SPARTAN, INFERNO and DESTROYER.

They have all been training at Shepperton Studios, Surrey, with legendary Gladiators referee John Anderson, who will return.
Footie legend Ian Wright and TV beauty Kirsty Gallacher will front the show, orginally hosted by John Fashanu and Ulrika Jonsson.

Lohan will be a naked Nympho

TROUBLED Hollywood babe LINDSAY LOHAN is planning to go STARKERS for just FORTY GRAND - because she wants to be thought of as a “mature actress”.
The ravishing redhead will star as a nymphomaniac waitress in low-budget drama Florence.
Producers only wanted 21-year-old Lindsay to go topless during red-hot sex scenes and were stunned when she told them she would be happy to do a full frontal.
And despite usually commanding seven-figure movie cheques, Lindsay has agreed to strip off for minimum pay.
An insider explained: “Lindsay doesn’t care she’s getting paid peanuts. She wants to remind people she can act and that she is worth hiring.”
A Hollywood pal added: “She is fully aware of the potential of her body. Lindsay wants to build up an image as a mature, responsible actress.”

In other news...

* Estelle been told by record company to undergo a complete image overhaul- including teeth straightened. She has been told to lose her tom boy look.

* Beckam was caught being given a ticket for turning left in a right only junction. Something tells me he'll be able to afford the £80 though.

* Moby has crush on Britney Spears, he says, “ she’s like this tragic figure. The fatter she gets, the weirder she gets, and the more I love her. I found her appealing in the late 90s but now I would marry her in a heartbeat."

* Chelsea stars including JOHN TERRY, FRANK LAMPARD, MICHAEL BALLACK, SHAUN WRIGHT-PHILLIPS, RICARDO CALVALHO and JOE COLE donned their expensive clobber for a night on the tiles after their 2-0 win over Fenerbahce. And who better to party with? Chanelle Hayes and Chantelle Houghton of course. Although they missed out on Tara Palmer Tomkinson, Nikki Grahame, Jamie Oliver and Michelle Scott-Lee though...these guys were partying at another cool party across town - ex-Blue singer Duncan James' 30th birthday.

Pete jailed for missing rehab

ROCK junkie Pete Doherty was finally jailed for drug offences yesterday – after repeatedly skipping rehab.
The Babyshambles star threw back his head in despair as he was sent down for 14 weeks for flouting terms of a suspended sentence.
A pal said last night: “Pete will be devastated. He’ll be sobbing his eyes out. He’s absolutely terrified of prison.”
Doherty, 29, had been ordered to take regular drug tests as part of a four-month sentence, suspended for two years. It was imposed last October after he admitted possession of crack cocaine, heroin, ketamine and cannabis.
Just days later, The Sun published video grabs of him taking heroin.
He then breached his probation conditions by missing two appointments, turning up late and being rude to staff.
He was finally hauled before West London Magistrates court yesterday, where District Judge Davinder Lachhar slammed his “unacceptable behaviour” and “mixed response” to treatment.
Last night, Doherty’s lawyer Sean Curran said: “Pete obviously didn’t want to go to prison but he was philosophical. He’s not an angel.
“He accepts the order of the court. He’ll be back.”
The star – who was snapped last September appearing to give his kitten crack from a pipe – could be freed in seven weeks.
But he will have to cancel the gig of his life at London’s Royal Albert Hall on April 26. And if he serves the full term, he will miss Glastonbury in June.
It is not Doherty’s first taste of jail. He got six months in 2003 for ransacking the flat of his Libertines bandmate Carl Barat.
Since then, he had been remanded in custody over drugs but managed to dodge any further prison sentence.
Doherty’s record company EMI said it will reschedule the Albert Hall gig. A spokesman said: “Peter would like to offer sincerest apologies to fans.”


Abi's TV hopes for sexy Secrets

EAT your heart out, Belle De Jour! Abi Titmuss wants her raunchy memoirs - The Secret Diaries of Abigail Titmuss - to be made into a sizzling TV series.
The blonde beauty is moving on from her glamour model-persona in a bid to find serious work as an actress, and she's keen to play herself in a serialisation of her hot new book.
She told us: “It would make a fantastic series, it’s got drama, highs, lows, crazy stories! One of my friends read it and said it was like Bridget Jones on rocket fuel!
“I can’t tell you any secrets from it yet – but I think you’ll enjoy the surprises.”
The publication of her sexy book, out in July, will placate Titmuss fans who are mourning the fact Abi is leaving the boob-baring shoots behind to follow her acting dream.
And the curvy blonde, who finished a theatre run with the play Fat Christ at London’s King’s Head last month, has already landed herself a role in a mystery movie...
She said: “I have stopped doing modelling, I’ve got a calendar out this year, that’s kind of the Best Of. But I’m moving on.
"Acting’s always been in my heart, I just kept it very quiet. I have just got a little part in a British film, a comedy, but I can’t talk about that yet!”
Abi is clearly a woman of many talents - she is a natural on the poker table, and is taking part in Ladbrokes’ European Ladies Poker Championship next month!
She added: “It’s a tournament of women competing to win a prize of $30,000.
“I’ve been playing poker for a while and I love it, so I jumped at the chance to get involved with the women’s championship.
“It's a sexy, smart game and I think girls could definitely be better than men at poker if they put their mind to it!”

In other news…
* MIGHTY BOOSH star NOEL FIELDING has revealed his weird comedy sketches are inspired by his parents’ tales of taking acid in the 1970s.
* BLUE PETER presenter Gethin Jones has announced he is leaving the much-loved children’s programme at the end of the series.
* Glastonbury bosses have reopened their registration process to flog thousands of unsold tickets. They relaunched it yesterday at 4pm.
* BRITNEY SPEARS is in secret talks over a £50MILLION ($99.8m) comeback world tour. The tormented star is desperate to get back on the road and flee the problems engulfing her in LA.

SHANNON SNATCH 'SCAM' based on TV ‘Shameless’

THE mum of Shannon Matthews has allegedy confessed that her daughter’s abduction was just a Shameless scam.
Sobbing Karen Matthews, 32, was arrested on suspicion of perverting justice after reportedly telling a woman detective she had known where Shannon was all along.Officers are now investigating claims that the alleged scam was based on a storyline in hit telly series Shameless.Karen is said to have confessed to her police family liaison officer, who was assigned to comfort her over her “ordeal”.Last night, she was being questioned by detectives over allegations that the 24-day police search for nine-year-old Shannon – Britain’s biggest-ever hunt for a missing person – was a waste of time.In an episode of the Channel 4 comedy drama Shameless, screened just four weeks before Shannon vanished, family head Frank Gallagher’s teenage daughter Debbie staged the fake kidnap of her younger brother Liam in a bid to pocket a £500,000 ransom.“Missing” Liam – played by Johnny Bennett, nine, – was hidden by Debbie (Rebecca Ryan, 16) at a pal’s home just down the road.Police are examining a copy of the episode, which was seen by 2.5 million viewers. Last night, they were also probing claims that Shannon’s relatives tried to pocket a donation from the fund set up to find Madeleine McCann, four, who vanished from a Portuguese holiday apartment last May.The McCann family’s spokesman Clarence Mitchell told the Daily Star they had received “a number of approaches” for handouts from people claiming to be members of Shannon’s family.They had considered making a donation but decided against it due to the “haphazard” nature of the approaches.The arrest of Shannon’s mother came three weeks after the schoolgirl was found in the flat of computer programmer Michael Donovan, 39, just a mile from her home in Dewsbury, West Yorks.Donovan, the uncle of Matthews’ partner Craig Meehan, is now in custody on charges of kidnapping and falsely imprisoning Shannon.


David Beckham gives £8m home to in-laws

BIG-HEARTED David Beckham is gifting his £8million Dubai mansion to wife Victoria's parents.
The England soccer star has handed the keys to the waterfront villa—set on an exclusive palm-shaped artificial island—to delighted in-laws Tony and Jackie Adams.
Becks bought the property in 2002 for £800,000. But since then its value has rocketed as Dubai has taken off as a holiday destination.
Although he and Posh will still own the mansion, they have told Tony, 61, and Jackie, 59, to decorate it to their liking—and are allowing them to spend as much time as they want in the stunning home.
Family
A source close to the 32-year-old player, who is now with American side LA Galaxy, revealed: "David realised he was not going to be able to spend any time in Dubai.
"He's got his commitments in Los Angeles and it's a long trip, especially when he still has to spend a lot of time in London.
"So he discussed it with Victoria and decided that the Dubai place would be a really special present for her parents. They've done so much for the family already and are involved in all of David and Victoria's ventures anyway.
"He trusts them completely and knows the property will be in very safe hands. He still retains legal ownership, but on a day-to-day basis it's to become their place.
"He's a practical guy and thinks there's no reason to have an amazing house sitting empty.
"David and Victoria have told them they might visit once or twice a year for some family time, although at the moment that seems quite unlikely because they're so busy."
The gift could be viewed as a snub to David's divorced parents, Ted and Sandra, who have had a more rocky relationship with the couple in recent years.
But the Beckham insider said: "All of David's family will be allowed access to the house if they want it. They'd just have to sort out a time with Tony and Jackie.
"David is a family man. He loves his parents and he'd never want to cut them out."
Becks purchased the luxury home within the prestigious Palm Jumeirah estate after a visit to the Gulf state before the 2002 World Cup.

In other news…
· Geri Halliwell is dating dancer IVAN “FLIPZ” VELEZ after they hit off on the SPICE GIRLS tour. They stepped out together for the first time on Sunday at the Idol Gives Back charity bash in Hollywood. BRAD PITT was among the guests.
· Fears were raised today after stricken kids’ TV star Mark Speight went missing. The 42-year-old, from Enfield, north London, who is described as “vulnerable”, has not been seen since yesterday, Scotland Yard said. Speight's disappearance comes six days after the inquest into the death of his fiancé Natasha Collins heard that she died in a bath of scalding water after they shared a giant cocaine binge.
· Talk show host Trisha Goddard has been diagnosed with breast cancer. The mum-of-two, 50, was said to be “exhausted with worry” after a lump was found during a routine mammogram.
· THE Beeb is getting cold feet over planned reality show Jesus Christ Superstar – amid fears of a religious backlash. Andrew Lloyd Webber wants to find an unknown to star as Jesus for the stage musical next year. But BBC bosses are worried it could cause the sort of anger that surrounded Jerry Springer: The Opera.

CLIPS

For anyone who's missed out so far...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dQAC5Vsvz5g

Jay-Z says I do to Beyonce but I don't to Glasto

GLASTONBURY headline act JAY-Z is on the verge of pulling out of the festival.
The rapper, who married BEYONCE on Friday, is upset organisers used his planned appearance to hype the event’s appeal to a younger and more “urban” crowd.
He was also angered by suggestions his signing caused fewer ticket registrations than last year and the reaction to his appearance on some festival message boards.
Unless a last-minute peace deal is brokered his cancellation looks set to disappoint many of the 100,000 music fans who bought festival tickets when they went on sale yesterday morning.
Jay-Z will play the 02 Wireless Festival in London’s Hyde Park on Thursday, July 3. It is believed this will be instead, rather than in addition, to Glasto.
A source revealed: “He hasn’t liked all this talk of how Glastonbury is more urban and hip this year because of his appearance.”
Yesterday Eavis denied Jay-Z had pulled out, insisting: “I spoke to his people this weekend. Everything is fine. I’m excited.” If he does cancel it’s a big blow for the Somerset festival in June. It usually sells out in hours but after a day’s sale there are still 37,500 tickets up for grabs.
The rap star – real name Shawn Carter – didn’t let any worries he had about Glasto spoil his big day on Friday.
After his marriage he celebrated with a lavish party at his plush New York apartment – kept secret until the last minute.
Guests included his mum Gloria, Beyonce’s parents and sister Solange, her DESTINY’S CHILD bandmates MICHELLE WILLIAMS and KELLY ROWLAND and GWYNETH PALTROW and CHRIS MARTIN – all in white.

A large white marquee was put on the top of the building and 60,000 white orchids ordered for the occasion.
A friend of the rapper said: “Jay wanted it to be a private affair. Close friends and family.”
The couple are planning to honeymoon in a £4,000-a-night luxury hotel on Caribbean isle Anguilla later this year.

Olympic measures for anti-china protesters

Anti-China protesters caused havoc yesterday during the Olympic torch relay as celebrities ran through abuse and threats; demonstrators fought to put out the games traditional symbol with fire extinguishers. Nearly forty protesters were arrested yesterday after a series of clashes with police officers after continually breaking through police and security cordons along the route across London.
Ex- Blue Peter presenter Konnie Huq was left shaking after one of the protesters tried to rip the torch from her hand. Konnie told the Daily Mirror “It was quite frightening. I was oblivious at first when the guy was lurching towards me and grabbing the torch and I was determinedly clinging on.” However campaign groups claimed that the police were too heavy handed in their treatment of protesters and because their actions they inflamed the situation.
More than 2,000 police officers battled to protect celebs and the 80 torch bearers over the 10 hour relay- billed as a ceremony of harmony and peace. But before the flame even left its starting point at Wembley stadium three arrests had been made. As well as police Chinese security guards constantly battled protesters against the plight of Tibet.
Downing Street was privately furious as the as the embarrassing incident costed them £1 million as well as likening to ‘Chinese state tactics’ in London which was later beamed around the world on television. In spite of this Gordon Brown decided to greet the torch in Downing Street despite being under pressure to boycott the parade and the opening ceremony.
Campaigners were protesting against Chinas Human rights record and its crack down on its pro-independence activists in Tibet.

Anne Robinson is more keen than mean on the latest Weakest Link

The Queen of Mean Anne Robinson showed her softer side after stunning the Weakest Link viewers by letting one of the contestants feel her breasts.
The show later received 16 complaints after viewers felt the normally frosty show had gone too far.
The television show is aired at tea time and is most popular among school children heightening viewers concerns about the standards of decency.
Olly Smith, a professional wine taster, seized the opportunity with both hands. Anne’s flirtatious invitation for Olly to take the hands on approach came at the start of the show on Saturday. Mr Smith, who presents The Richard and Judy Wine Club on Channel 4, told the audience “if Anne was a wine, she’d be a smooth, full bodied, expensive red.
The BBC stressed that the 16 complaints were from a viewing figure of 5.5 million and the show was a special charity edition featuring 10 celebrity contestants from the world of food and drink, including Sophie Grigson and TV chefs The Hairy Bikers.


In other stories…
· MYLEENE KLASS isn't someone who is often associated with raucous nights out, so it made a change to see the new mum on the lash on Saturday night. The former HEAR'SAY singer celebrated her 30th birthday at the Vanilla club in London's West End and invited a cast of Z-lister friends to help her do it in, er, style, with a fancy dress theme. Friends included ex-BLUE singer DUNCAN JAMES, STEPS singer LISA SCOTT-LEE, EMMA GRIFFITHS, FAITH BROWN and VANESSA FELTZ.
· SPICE Girl Mel B has signed a £½million deal to front the next Ultimo bra campaign.
· HOLLYWOOD legend Charlton Heston, died aged 83 on Saturday night in California.
Britney spears has also been asked to play the role as Blanche from A street car named desire however theatre bosses are saying the writer would be ‘turning in his grave.’
SHAMED millionaire Max Mosley defied fresh calls to quit as Formula 1 chief yesterday over his Nazi-style whip orgy with five hookers. The son of 1930s fascist leader Oswald Mosley was accused of damaging the sport after one vice girl told how he videoed the depraved romp. Mosley insisted he had “done nothing wrong”.

CLIPS

Fancy some Madge and JT action...?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O-2fFTSE44s

Naomi spits - over just one bag

CRAZED Naomi Campbell flew into a rage over ONE lost bag — after 20,000 pieces of luggage went missing at Heathrow’s trouble-hit Terminal 5.
The model, 37, allegedly SPAT at a cop who was called to calm her down — then laid into him with her FISTS.
She was arrested on the spot for assaulting an officer, then restrained after a struggle and hauled kicking and screaming off the plane in handcuffs.
Naomi was released on bail this morning. At 1am her press agent, Celena Aponte gave a statement outside the police station, saying: “She arrived in plenty of time at Heathrow Terminal 5 with two bags, checked them in, and told they were take the flight.
“Once on the flight, she was told one bag could not be found and was missing.
“British Airways decided to resolve this by insisting she leave the flight, calling the police, and forcibly ejected her from the flight.
“So far as we are aware, BA has still failed to offer any explanation as to why her bag went missing at Terminal 5.”
Ms Aponte said Miss Campbell was flying to LA to attend a memorial service of the mother of fashion photographer Herb Britts.
Asked how Naomi had behaved, she said: “I can not comment further.”
The supermodel — who paid £6,000 for the flight — had screamed insults at airline workers. She was still yelling abuse at the steward who took boarding cards as she took a seat on the plane yesterday evening.
Staff called police and three officers from the Met’s SO18 aviation security branch arrived.
One police source said of the incident: “She was going nuts, spitting, punching and lashing out. BA staff were genuinely concerned about her well-being.
A witness who saw her tantrum in the first-class lounge said: “She was screaming, ‘Get off, get off, don’t touch me — leave me alone’.”
But Naomi appears to be the ONLY one of 280,000 passengers so far who required cops to be summoned.
Yesterday a police spokesman said: “We can confirm that at 17.13pm police were called to a disturbance at Terminal 5, Heathrow. A 37-year-old woman was arrested on suspicion of assaulting a police officer.”
British Airways declined to comment.
This morning Naomi, wearing a leather jacket, grey baseball cap and large black sunglasses, walked through a gaggle of press into a waiting Range Rover Sport after leaving the police station.

Cold Shoulder for Adele

ADELE has not had the best of luck with men – you only need to listen to her heartbreaking No1 album 19 to work that out.

But the teen songstress finally found a fella — even if it was the daftly named SLINKY SUNBEAM from up-and-coming indie act THE MORE ASSURED.
They pair met earlier this year and had a whirlwind romance.
But now the larger-than-life singer has been DUMPED for a stick-thin model — ahead of the release of her single Cold Shoulder later this month.
Bassist Slinky — who I would love to see introduce himself with a straight face — is now dating the equally crazily named Burberry model MORWENNA LYTTON- COBBOLD.
They have been joined at the hip since hooking up at a London party last month.
And just when I thought the follow-up to Adele’s soulful debut album 19 was going to be an uplifting record about the joys of falling in love.
A source revealed: “Adele and Slinky met in February and really hit it off. They are both huge characters and had each other in stitches. It was really sweet.
“They started dating and Adele really thought the relationship was going somewhere.
“She was really into Slinky and it was great to see her so happy. She’d had a bit of a drought when it came to men, despite all her success.
“But then after about a month she headed off to America to do some gigs and promotions.
“She hoped Slinky would be waiting when she got back. But he didn’t hang around. He traded her in for a skinny model.”


In other news…
· A British schoolboy has scooped a top drawer world record by balancing 16 spoons - on his face. Nine-year-old Joe Allison beat the previous world record of 15 spoons when he hung the silverware from his forehead, nose, cheeks, chin and ears.
· TOPSHOP was crowned queen of fashion today for the second year running. The clothing chain was named best high street shop by In Style magazine’s 2008 shopping awards.
· BB bosses have spent the last few months hunting for a new host for BBLB to replace Dermot O’Leary since his wise decision to jump ship. So far rumours have included Konnie Huq, Alexa Chung and Miquita Oliver. Word on the street says the race is actually between four lads – Alex Zane, Rick Edwards, George Lamb, and Dave Berry. Who’s up for career suicide?
· MySpace launched a bid to crush iTunes dominance of the digital music market yesterday. The social networking site is joining with the three biggest record companies to set up Myspace music. SonyBMG, Universal, and Warners have all signed up to the venture which will allow people to download music for free.

CLIPS

She's not all drugs and rehab...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RsI0irkwhw0&feature=bz302

Hero frees wife from croc's jaws

AN AUSTRALIAN man jumped onto a crocodile's back, wrestled with the monster and poked it in the eyes until it let go of his wife.
The 2.5 metre croc charged from shallow water at Litchfield National Park, a popular outback waterhole south of Darwin, locking jaws around the thighs of 36-year-old visitor Wendy Pethrick.
“These crocs are vicious machines,” said local man Steve Landreth, who watched amazed as her husband Norm leapt onto the reptile’s back and jabbed at its eyes to free his wife.
Praising the couple, Mr Landreth said: “I think she’s one of the bravest women I’ve ever met.”
He added: “Even after being grabbed in the thigh by a crocodile and injured she was just talking very calmly about what happened. They’re far braver than me, I can tell you."
Doctors said Mrs Pethrick had been fetching water and suffered serious bite wounds to both legs.
“This could have been a fatal and tragic situation. The sheer force of a crocodile biting down is quite incredible,” said Royal Darwin Hospital General Manager Len Notaras.
He added that Mrs Pethrick had been saved by her husband’s “swift and diligent actions”.
Crocodile attacks are relatively common in Australia’s tropical north and doctors usually deal with around three incidents a year.
Looks like Steve Landreth could be the new Steve Irwin.


See Jackson clan's new home

Want to see the first pictures of the JACKSON family’s Devon home? Follow the link in the CLIP at the bottom…

They are renting the five-bedroom house in Appledore while they build a dream pad. The clan — who won fame as THE JACKSON 5 in the 1970s with songs including ABC — are planning a “glass-style” mansion at nearby Croyde.
Guitarist TITO, 54, will arrive in May with his family.
We revealed last month that superstar brother MICHAEL — who is trying to sell his Neverland ranch — is looking for a UK base in the area.
Family friend MATT FIDDES, 28, said: “Michael turns 50 this summer and I wouldn’t rule out him celebrating his birthday in Devon."
The house — rented for five weeks for £5,000 — has a state-of-the-art sound system, and cushions covered in the US flag.

In other news…
* T5 terminal chaos is chaos for some more than others – as Disco don Calvin Harris lost the only copy of his new album in the Heathrow baggage catastrophe. He has vowed to set airport bigwigs on fire for the huge mistake.
* Dannii Minogue has arranged a secret date with Lewis Hamilton at the Monaco Grand Prix next month rumours say…Lewis and Dannii swapped numbers when they met after his Australian race victory last month and apparently the driver has been bombarding her with texts. She has got a bit of a reputation with racing drivers however – engaged to F1 driver Jacques Villeneuve in 1999.
* The castration of young lads wanting to become “ladyboys” was banned in Thailand yesterday. The move came after reports that boys as young as 11 were having the op as a short-cut to a full sex change. The government banned the op for under-18s.
* All coins ready for change. The design for the first new British coin series for 40 years was unveiled yesterday. The coins, which show the Queen’s head on the reverse side, and a new design on the top side, are to come into circulation in the summer.

CLIPS

Follow through the link to see Jackson house photos....

http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/showbiz/bizarre/article992582.ece

Been gagging to hear Channelle's new single? Wait no more...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8n9hnEIfjkg

Dita has a secret porn flick past

BUSTY new Wonderbra model DITA VON TEESE has a secret hardcore porn past, The Sun can reveal.
The stage queen — famed for making the burlesque show mainstream — starred in a kinky lesbian movie.
Explicit clips of the 35-year-old being spanked and pleasured with a bizarre sex toy by women have emerged online.
It is a blow to Wonderbra who only launched her as the new face of their famous push-up bra last month.
They hoped Dita — real name Heather Sweet — would enhance the company’s clean-cut image by designing her own limited edition collection.
But the sleazy flick — shot before she rose to fame — will shock lingerie bosses.
In one scene the former wife of goth rocker MARILYN MANSON romps with a leggy beauty with a sex toy. In another she cavorts with two stunners in corsets.
Dita’s burlesque show had previously been seen as so high brow she was even interviewed on Radio 4.
Wonderbra declined to comment.


Bleeding fortune

Leona’s hit Bleeding Love is at the centre of a megabucks battle to turn it into a major movie theme.

Top Hollywood film companies have put massive offers on the table for three of Leona’s songs — with Bleeding Love the main attraction.
The X Factor winner has been described as the new WHITNEY HOUSTON and her US boss Clive Davis is the man who discovered Whitney.
US movie chiefs want to turn Bleeding Love into the next I Will Always Love You — Whitney’s 1992 hit from smash hit film The Bodyguard.
A source revealed: “A number of huge offers are on the table for Leona’s songs. The bids for Bleeding Love are staggering. They’re into seven figures.
“The offers are for major blockbusters — some just around the corner. It could turn the song into the biggest hit this decade — like a new I Will Always Love You.
“It is unusual for a film company to spend a lot of money on a song unless it has been recorded specifically for the film.
“But, because the song is such a huge worldwide hit — and so perfect for a big movie — they are prepared to make an exception.”
During Milan Fashion Week in February, several fashion houses tried to fly her over to offer her sackloads of cash to endorse their labels.
The source revealed: “Leona is now being seen as a brand rather than just a singer.
“She has had some head-turning offers to endorse fashion and beauty products. But she wants to concentrate on her music first, so we won’t be seeing the Leona perfume just yet.”

In other news…

* The Big Ballet, 16 Russian dancers each weighing a minimum 16 stone, will perform at The Orchard Theatre, Dartford at the end of April. Earlier this year, principal female Tatyana Gladkih was suspended for dropping below the minimum weight requirement.
* News glamour girl Natasha Kaplinsky is expecting her first baby – just 4 weeks after starting her £1 million a year job. Ratings for the new glossy Five News with Natasha Kaplinsky have soared by 72% since she began on 18th Feb this year.
* Today is billed to be the most belly bulging 24 hours of the year so far experts say. Brits will down an average of 4,000 calories on what is said to be called “fat Wednesday.” Today sits in the middle of a four-week gap between people giving up New Year diets and starting to slim for summer research shows.
* Beyonce and Jay-Z to wed? BEYONCE and JAY-Z, who have dated for six years, reportedly took out a marriage license yesterday morning in New York. The document is valid for 60 days. The pair are a famously private couple and are reluctant to discuss their relationship in public.

CLIPS

Start young...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d26XQMMJxno

Tuesday 1st April

Paris Hilton Auditions For You've Been Framed
Paris Hilton was attempting a quick exit from a music store in Prague with boyfriend Benji Madden, when she tripped over a step, fell face down and banged her chin on the ground. To add to her distress, Madden failed to play the doting beau and help Hilton to her feet and instead stepped over the hurt heiress.

However, in a move which shows chivalry isn't completely dead, Madden, on realising the severity of Hilton's fall, turned back round and helped her up. But the damage was done and Hilton was overheard telling Madden, "Prague...never again".





Amy Winehouse Is A Model (Not An April Fool's Gag)
Amy Winehouse has been offered a lucrative deal by fashion designer Roberto Cavelli to wear his outfits - thanks to Posh Spice. Wino has been invited to Cavalli's castle in the Tuscan hills to thrash out an agreement - it's understood that Amy will receive a lifetime supply of tailored designs in return for her wearing his clothes at public functions and gigs. The offer comes after Posh told Cavelli that she admired Amy's unique sense of style. Says Posh, "she has a real sense of style that I love. She is a fashion icon because she's unique". Okay....


In Other News

• Heather Mills will soon be back in front of the cameras, according to reports in the US.
  She is one of the celebrity judges announced for the forthcoming Miss USA Pageant.
• The Brits were not in breach of the broadcasting code despite 128 complaints about bad language & booze at the event, watchdog Ofcom ruled. The incident which provoked the most complaints saw host Sharon Osbourne verbally attack comedian Vic Reeves, whom she accused of being drunk at the televised bash.
• Kylie is making a last-ditch attempt to crack America. Promoting her new album X, she began her one-woman assault on the US yesterday when she chatted on The Today Show in New York. She's also booked on Dancing With The Stars, The Ellen DeGeneres Show and The Late Late Show.
• Kevin Federline still has feelings for Britney, saying "I still love Britney. She’s the mother of my children". Britney's dad Jamie is also said to be encouraging the pair to reunite.

You Tube Clip

Bill Gate's Last Days At Microsoft - More Cameos Than The I'm F*cking Ben Affleck Video

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xr5w3X4R8b4